Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My Heart Hurts

I am so stressed and overtired I probably should just go to bed.

But my heart hurts. I love my job, but not what it has become. Or let's say I love what I do, or did, but not lately.

Yes there is always an adjustment period with a new manager. You have to sell yourself as a good employee and worth working with.

I guess I didn't do a good job of selling myself with my new manager.

She just seems so repelled by me. I am definetely not the type of employee she would hire if she could. So far she has hired 2 blonde petite woman, (and she is as well) and I am neither. (I have a theory that bosses tend to hire those who are most similar to them physically)

I came in today with a testimonial from one of my clients. It wasn't easy to get and it wasn't perfect. I read it to her, and I could see her lip curl in distaste. "That's a strange testimonial"

I got written up for something this week. Something I have been very open about with both of my managers on this particular job. While she was explaining why I was being written up she also chose that time to share how much she doesn't like things I have done and said and how much I Push Back. Well Lady I am not used to being pushed so hard either!

Christ it sucks that one person can have this much power and control over another in a free country.

The economy sucks pretty bad to be able to go out and find another job right now.

So my heart hurts now.


Loralee Choate said...

Oh, what a horrible feeling. I am so sorry.

I wonder if you had a meeting with her and bluntly said that you felt like you and she really got off to a bad start and what could you do to improve your standing with her? Then do it. If it solves nothing, will be very obvious to others that the woman is prejudiced.

Not fun, since you don't sound like you are doing anything that warrants it, but it may be worth a try.

UGH. I truly hope this turns around for you.

Patty said...

I'm sure you don't want to hear from me but I hope you will read this before you delete it . . .

Perhaps it is time to focus on what your part is in all of this versus what SHE is doing. Being the victim is not a very glamorous role & it only drags you down.

Working FOR someone is never easy especially when we want to do things our way . . . unfortunately, the boss holds the cards and we have to figure out how to play them or fold.

I have lost 3 friends this past year and had to look at what my part was in this. For every finger I point, three point back at me & vice versa.

Marthavmuffin said...

Patty give me a call sometime, we need to talk!

Thanks for the good advice dear.