She wants to dance

"Mommy look at my practice!" says my Jamie as she twirls to the Kate n Ashley ballerina video.

She just loves ballet type dance so we are going to enroll her I think. One of the local outfits had "Rythmic movement" whch is 45 minutes on Saturday mornings. She has to wear footless tights and a tunic, no shoes. They do a bit of musical movement and acro or tumbling. Its a couple of miles away, and the facility doesnt' have a/c. (wonder if it has heat?) It is $45/MO plus a registration fee and she will eventually need a Black leotard (i have 3 pink ones!) and pink footless tights which are about $15 each. They will waive the registration if I buy an item from a local dance shop...

Then there is another class I just found out about, its at her school on Tuesday ams so I wouldnt have to transport her or get to see her in motion. It is the same rate but no waiving of the registration fee. Also no dress code, so a bit of a wash in that regard. But this class focuses on Dance. We would also have to buy ballet shoes...

I am thinking of doing both the first month and seeing which one she likes best or which one works out the best for two very busy and exhausted parents.

This child wants more

Jamie has this need to be with her peers and others. Not just us. We pass our church every day on the way to school and work and she asks if she can go to church. Today, or now. I remark that we just go on Sundays but she wants more. I have to tell her, "but honey nobody is there today, just on Sundays".

We started going to church during our infertility journey when I was feeling particularly dismal. It's a great church (Unitarian Universalist)with an open theology that recognizes the inherent worth of every person. We practice tolerance and freedom of letting others worship and believe as they so choose. (Which is one of the founding premises of this country btw).

We had stopped going to church when we got Jamie, her nap time was 11am which coincided with the time of service, so we just fell out of the habit of going. We knew we wanted to go back some day and when Jamie started asking to go to church a couple months ago, we got back into the Sunday habit.

So maybe it's time for me to get involved with our church community and get her involved with her church community. She is crying out for it. Yes it's hard to do more, but in reading about Spirited children, they need more. More to engage them, more people to be with, more friends to have a friendship with on a regular basis.

I started thinking it would be nice to take her another day, not just on Sundays, and thought maybe Wednesday would be an option. They used to have either a small service or adult RE classes on Wednesday nights, but no nursery or RE for the kids. I was thinking I would be willing to be the babysitter/teacher for an hour or so to get it started. But to make sure I wasn't the only one coming I decided to check with some of the other families who have kids Jamie loves being with. So I asked around today, and yes the mother of the 3 yr old girl Jamie loves (who we met at the Library a couple of weeks ago and just so happens goes to our church) thought it was a great idea, and so did the gentlemen with the other 3 yr old girl Jamie loves.

It just happens that our church is in flux. Our long time minister just left for retirement so we have an internment minister for one year while we engage in the search for the next minister. So we had a meeting this morning about what we were looking for in a new minister and how we would like our church. During the meeting the cry went out to deepen our congregations relationship with one another. I talked to the RE Director after the service and she loved the idea! In fact she had a better one, one in which families worship and have dinner together. She sent me home with a book about it.

Maybe it's time...

Are you Raising a Spirited Child?

The book I read by Popkin was excellent (Taming your Spirited Child - see previous post) and I think it could work. If your child is Spirited chances are the child possesses there characteristics:
C urious
A dventerous
P owerful
P ersistant
S ensitivity

I was hoping Mike would read the book too, but no dice. As a high school teacher just getting back into a new year, he doesn't have time. I thought maybe I could reach out to other moms/parents both online and irl to set up some sort of group to get together and talk about the concepts and what works or doesn't work. You know like a support group but also a class.

I thought if I could find others who have spirited kids we could band together...The book suggests forming a group and even has an online resourse you can purchase...Here is a article in pdf from the site that describes the concepts of spiritual children


Interesting Nugget I read from the book this morning:

You need to help you child find their passion. Adults who have a passion tend to read, and want to learn whether by formal education or by reading books, newspapers and online. If the child finds their passion you can help nuture it. Example: If you take a child to a Butterfy garden and they are enhanted, get books on butterflys, have her help you plant lantana or other butterfly loving plants and get butterfly decorations for her room etc.

I think this could help me to develop a good relationship with Jamie, will help to make sure that she is a pleasure to be around and also that she becomes a happy fulfilled member of society. And isn't that what parenting is about?

What do you think? Any interest out there? I am going to post on some online message boards, and maybe do an ad on Craigs list and the newspaper. Maybe I will set up a separate blog...any suggestions.

Hershey Park

I finally downloaded the point and shoot from the last couple of months and got to see all the shots from our expedition to Hershey Park. The little girl in the photo with Jamie was her best friend - at least for the morning. We rode a couple of the same rides at the same time as this family which allowed the girls to ride together.

Upon seeing the photos tonight Jamie exclaimed "there is my best friend!" I said, really do you remember her name? and yes she did, her name was Ariel. That kid has the greatest name recognition, she just may be a politician.

A long night/day

Well I never made it back asleep...come to find out Jamie and Mike were awake in the other bedroom so we have all been up since 5am or so (me since 3am) Jamie and I got up from the bed about 6:30 and came out here on the porch. I love my porch- Its screened in and half of it has a screened top and a partially bricked partially dirt floor. So I have some large split leaf philodendrums growing and some palms are against the outside on one side, my pool on another, some privacy bushes on the 3rd side and the house on the fourth side.

Guess I could just post a photo eh? Here are some from earlier in the summer that show the view from the porch, but I don't seem to have any of the porch itself.

Anyway I am so enjoying being out here. Jamie and I did some cleaning and straightening (well mainly me, but she did help wipe down a couple chairs) and then we did sand play and I got online and emailed some friends to maybe come over.

Anyway nobody could make it over on such short notice so we just continued. Mike got up about 10, he has a bad cold, and got a bit disgruntled when he saw I was trying to start the New Lawnmower, so he mowed the back yard, hacking and coughing and complaining the whole time.

I told him I would do it but he persisted. While he mowed I vacuumed the pool and Jamie just enjoyed being in the pool.

They went to Firehouse to get some subs *YUM* Hook and Ladder anyone? and I am in heaven - blogging and playing my game - Settlers of Cataan online.

I love Saturdays.

GRATITUDE

Life is good.

I have been lamenting what coulda been shoulda been mighta been lately and need to stay in the present. Time to do an old fashioned gratitude list.

Here is just a short one - I am up at 4am as we all went to bed at 9am and I didn't sleep through!

Nice Home
Great husband
Wonderful Child
Nice vehicle
Good job
Good friends
Sweet kitties
Pool in the backyard
Extra money for wants not just needs at times

Back to School/Work

Well my lazy days of summer have come to an end. Mike teaches high school and has been off this summer so I have relied on him to take Jamie to school and do stuff around the house. It's almost as if we are both off for the summer, though I am not sure he feels that way.His school got an "F" grade this past year and so he has to do some kind of remedial education Team building crap this week and next week some more of the same. Stuff that teachers that weren't in F schools dont have to do this crap.And why may you ask did his school recieve an "F" grade this year? Well two of the neighboring schools that are located in the inner City got 3 consecutive "F" grades in the recent past. Sooo...with the infinite wisdom of our state government those kids were given vouchers to get out of the schools....Like rats from a sinking ship. So now Mikes school is failing. What are they going to do when all of the schools are F? Going to shut down the public school system? What makes sense here? Don't get me started.Anyway back to me, Now I get to get Jamie ready again each morning, and resume with the dishes and more of the household chores Mike has been doing. And the errands, and the grocery shopping...ugh...

Do you spank?

Please let me know if you occasionally spank your child for bad behavior. This book and so much I read is strongly opposed. I know I don't have any fond memories of being spanked. My mom used a wide firemans belt with a brass buckle - 'The Belt'. I remember getting spanked pretty darned hard with that thing up through elementary school. I know that most of my generation was spanked, they even spanked in schools at that time.

Do you spank? if so why and when? how old are your kids/were they when you spanked them and do you think it harmed your relationship as their parent?

Mike is Home! or No Spanking Zone

This past week my husband has been downstate doing high intensive training for better skills as an AP World History teacher to high school students. My mom even came and stayed to help out most of the days he was gone but it was pretty difficult without him. My hat is off to you single mommies out there (and those of you that don't get regular help and respite from your husbands!!)

When Mike is here he does alot, especially in the summer when he isn't in the classroom. He feeds Jamie in the morning and gets her dressed; takes Jamie to school, and does some stuff around the house; and then picks her up after school, plans dinner and pretty much cooks it himself, and then often does the dishes. I know I know, it sounds like I have a wife doesn't it? I know I am lucky...when I read other blogs where husbands barely load the dishwasher much less anything else.

So I got a taste of what it's like to be single and got warmed up for when he will start teaching again in 3 weeks or so.

Jamie picked this week to really try my patience and last night she tried Mikes. He spanked her twice and I think he has only spanked her one time before this so it was stressful on all of us.

In reading this book on "Taming the Spirited Child" they strongly recommend not spanking. Instead you are to remain calm - which harkens back to one of my best slogans in life I have learned - He who angers me controls me. Anyway remain calm, talk about their Feelings, (It must make you mad that you can't have a cookie); then remark on Logic (but if we all ate cookies all the time we would blow up like balloons; Give an Alternative (How about a nice crunchy carrot); Then if that doesn't work use a Consequence; (If you don't stop crying about the cookie you will need to sit in the Time Out chair). FLAC is the acronym or as I like to call it dealing with Flac with Flac!

I have been trying...but I just get so aggravated and get angry with her...I guess she is controlling me.

OMIGOD Make her stop!

Ok when will this get better?! And wth are they talking about the terrible twos? The twos were downright delightful, I mean it. But these threes are challenging me to the utmost.

Heres what she did today:

Screamed and cried numerous times - first time at 7:55 while I was attempting to 'herd her' to the van. "I wanna eat my cereal here at MMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY TABLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE; WAHHHHH!!"

No sorry baby, Mommy has to go to work yadayadayada....

At school:
She got put in time out more than once for fighting with her friends, she wasn't listening to the teacher, (Again, yesterday she wasn't listening or coming back from the bathroom and was wandering towards the front door of the center...)

Then when I come home from school I find a ziplock bag of Lucky Charms in her bag. WHICH I DONT GIVE HER! Which means she is stealing from other kids! (Again!) I knw I am a mean mom, she has done this in the past with Juice Boxes and chips. Some moms give their kids this crap for breakfast and Jamie prefers it to low sugar cereal and fresh strawberrries, but thats another story...

Then at home, she ate her dinner ok...but during her bath, I left the room and told her NOT TO GET OUT OF THE TUB, which she did (Again, just like last night) and was sneaking over to the bath paint, (which I would probably have given her if she had just asked)

Why this makes me crazy is my daughter is a clutz and has slipped so many times in and getting out of that tub! Darn it she could really get hurt!

SO I took her out of the bathtub. BIGTIME TANTRUM! "I'm not done, I'm not done!"

Anyway after that tantrum I sat quietly in the dark with her and explained about taking other peoples things and how that wasn't nice and also how she needed to listen to her teachers and me and daddy...

I am sure her eyes were glazing over during my lecture ...

After I put her to bed lovingly, I stayed upstairs to vacuum our bedroom...and she snuck out of bed and got my make up purse into bed with her and smeared it all over herself and the bed. She looked like Adam Friggin ant.

And now I have effectively stripped her room of loveys and books and other stuff....she has gotten up at least 6 times....

OMIGOD MAKE HER STOP!

Justin Roberts is in town tomorrow

Justin Roberts does 'Kid Rock' and he will be at our local Art market tomorrow! I am excited to take Jamie to her first kid concert. I just found out about him from our local childrens library art teacher, she sent an email, so we 'youtubed' him and played some of the videos for Jamie who seemed to like him.

She is such a person of the crowds, not unlike I when I was younger. So Iknow she will have a good time. And I just might buy myself some Kenyan coffee.

New Art Market in Town

Last weekend between GeoCaching we also went to a new art market/fest that happens every Saturday under one of our many bridges in this town.

Whoever came up with this idea is a genius. Our climate is very hot and humid and often rainy in the summer time. So the put down pavers and built a sort of ampitheatre and voila! A shaded space near the river with a roof to keep dry.

We really enjoyed it but it could be dangerous. I found that Kenyan coffee- its $9/bag but so good! I would need 2 bags as I mix caff and decaff, so that's $18, they had Chicken Calypso with black beans and rice for $5; a very large slice of Pizza Palace Pizza for $3; a very cool bug eating plant for $20; Pineappples to support our local shelter for Battered women for $2 - what a deal! and for charity! Numerous handmade necklaces one I adored that was $160; Dark Chocolate Chip Bread and scones for $6.50 and $3.50 respectively.

So since we had a limited amount of cash we just bought 1 portion of Chicken Calypso, 1 piece of pizza and one pineapple. So we spent $10 instead of hundreds. Dangerous I'm telling you. But we will be going back. They had live music down by the river in the ampitheatre, and street performers throughout. I wished we had gotten a picture of the contortionist, but thats for another day.

Is Jamie getting huge or what - she still wants to ride in her stroller though. Oh and isn't that twirl cute that Jamie did when she heard we were going somewhere?!

Cut the clutter, and the fat

I have checked this book out before and didnt read it, so I am trying it again.

I just don't seem to be motivated to do anything. Since returning from our vacation work has been extremely busy and I even had to work on Saturday this weekend for a bit for a trade show.

All of this is just excuses though. The same excuses lead me into the kitchen after 9pm for a bit of oral comfort. I gotta stop. Mike and I took 'Biggest Loser' gut poses Saturday and weighed in and measured our big ole bodies. I am very close to my biggest size ever and I just gotta stop.

At least my fingernails look better since before the vacation.

Tebow turtle

Tim Tebow is our local home town college quarterback hero, and this is the turtle commemorating him. Our town is doing a Turtle hunt called Turtle Trails.

It benefits our local child guidance center. They gathered a group of local artists and had them paint over a dozen turtles and placed them in high traffic locations throughout our downtown area for a limited time.

It is a very good cause, and I am betting they will sell the statues when they are done, so I suggested to Mike we incorporate 'Turtle hunts' into our geocache hunts for the time being anyway.

Geocache #2

+

Well yesterday we had to go out and try our hand at a local cache. It was a presidential theme cache - right up Mike's alley. And it was downtown, near our regular Saturday morning fun routine. (the Main library for art and storytime)

We were able to find this one despite the rain - it really is a lot of fun.

Geocaching- treasure hunting for geeks

And it's right up our alley. I love maps and finding my way. We just bought our first GPS for our trip last month, and of course we are both all over the web daily. That and having a car to go find the caches are about all you need to take up this new hobby.

I heard about it vaguely about 6 mos ago when the newspaper I work at did a feature on it. (Does anyone else out there read a daily newspaper?)

Then when we were in Michigan going to the Metro Park that time with my cousin I read something about Geocaching on the brochure for the park.

People put little 'caches' in public places in either a film containter, a magnetic keyholder or even a tupperware container. It can contain small objects such as coins or nibbety nobs or it can simply hold a paper log for folks to sign their name and date and whether they left anything behind.

Then you go back to the website and post any comments regarding finding the cache, or if you dont find it, that you couldnt locate it.

We looked for our first while we were in North Carolina with Mike's brother. It was on the side of the road next to a river at the county line out in the country. Mike's brother Bruce found it, but we were all pretty psyched.

Bruce with first geocache located!
Mike putting it back
Martha by the river near the cache

When we went to look for the cache today it was between the baseball stadium and the coliseum. A very public place. We knew it was in a magnetic holder because of some of the clues/comments on the website.

I was the one to find it this time and yes, it is fun and it is addicting. We will be doing this regulary. You have your own list of findings on the site, so it's a bit like blogging...or twittering, or something mildly addicting and worth adding to the myriad of other mildly addictive hobbies we both have.

Taming the Spirited Child

Anyone out there read this book? I think it makes alot of sense so far, but I am still at the beginning of it where he is giving the rational but not the methods to use. Now if the methods he describes are doable I am hoping Mike will read it too and take ownership of the methods along with me.

Jamie is getting very willful. She comes by it honestly as Mike and I can be very strong willed or 'willful', or as this book terms it 'Spirited'. It purports that you should rejoice in the fact that your child is willful. A passive child is easier to get along with and will behave better, but probably won't have that fire inside to become an entreprenuer or a leader or an artist/creator type. And that it is our job as parents to nurture that spirit. To help that child tame that spirit so they can be happy productive members of society.

To try to break that spirit can result in rebellion and ruin.

I need to do something different. We have administered more spankings recently and they just don't seem to work, just bad feelings result from them on all sides.

I hope this is the answer, if not we will keep working to find the right answer for Jamie and for our family.

These 3's are by far much more challenging than those 'terrible'? twos.

Back to Reality and it ain't all bad

I went back to work yesterday after a great long vacation. I had a one on one meeting with my boss today and he commented that he loved his job and what we do there and doesn't ever really want to go on vacation.

As usual I was truthful with him. (I cant seem to use corporate speak). I said that I do love what I do and my job, but I also love my vacations and need that time to recharge. He was ok with that I think, but I get the feeling that he wishes we all didn't take vacations.

All I can do is be a hard working employee and try to show that I do care about my work. I can't lie and act as if work is all there is for me in my life. Work pays the bills, and allows us to go on nice vacations and enjoy our life. And my work is actually enjoyable and fulfilling for the most part. So I am pretty lucky.

Familial connections

We are home from our vacation. It was wonderful, lots of good times and memories were made. Of course my husband has spoiled our child, and now she won't sleep by herself (without loads of protest ie. I can't sleep, I want to sleep with you, I need some water, I have to go pee pee etc..)

Anyhow, while away I realized I hoped there would be more of a connection with relatives her age. We go up there and she gets to see her grandma and uncle and my various cousins, but not many who were around her age.

Mike and I both just have one brother (I have stepbrothers and sisters as well), and both of our brothers are still bachelors. So this basically means Jamie has no first cousins. So I really want her to connect with 2nd cousins or 3rd removed, or whatever there is for her.

On my side of the family we were able to get with my stepsisters kids and Jamie truly enjoyed herself. I really had hoped we could have gotten with some of Mikes relatives who have children but it just didn't happen this time.

I guess I feel a little guilty for some reason, when I was a kid I had first cousins my age we saw pretty regularly, and loads of 2nd and 3rds and Jamie really doesn't have much of an extended family.

Since we are such older parents I feel like when we are gone she will have no family and that makes me sad. Are your families more fractured now than when you were kids?

Winding down

We just loved Stanley

Jon and Kate fan

Mom being Silly

The Motor City isn't thriving so much anymore

Detroit street scene

Spinning with Aunt Kristina

15th President Buchanan's Grave

We have had a great vacation but we are all exhausted; maybe a bit too much of the get up and go and not enough of the rest and relaxation. I am sitting here in my brother in laws living room, while he, Jamie and Mike are snoozing away at 7 pm on the fourth of July.

We left Michigan and my favorite cousin Kristina's house on Wednesday and drove to Hershey PA - not for the Chocolate but because it was near Lancaster PA. Michaels lifetime endeavor is to visit all of the presidents grave sites, and I have been along for the ride for the last 10 years. I think I have been to about 8 -10 sites with him, mostly in Ohio and on the way back and forth to Michigan (Tennessee, Indiana etc).

But I digress...since we have been dragging Jamie all over this great country of ours, I felt we needed to squeeze in some Jamie 'Surprise Time'. I intended on us going to Dutch Wonderland which was recently featured on Jon and Kate, (which is one of Jamie and I's favorite shows) but I miscalculated the locale, so we went to another Amusement Park called Hershey Park, right in Hershey PA.

I don't have photos from the amusement park yet as we used the point and shoot, and we are all about the Rebel lately. This is how the day went:

Get there, run to a group of kiddy rides, then to another group of kiddie rides, then to the 'You drive em Mini cars' then to a 'Kissing Tower' that revolved around and showed everything from high above. Then Jamie and Mike went on the little log flume and I went on a great roller coaster - The Great Bear. Then more of the same throughout the day. One drenching 20 minute rainstorm at 5pm or so and a couple of Jamie meltdowns later and then we left during the next rainstorm.

It was really alot more fun than that. We saw some talented young folks put on acrobatics and dancing and singing, we enjoyed the time together laughing and giggling, but it was pretty exhausting.

Then yesterday we traveled to President Buchanan's grave and housesite and then here near Durham. The freeway was closed down so we arrived past midnight instead of past 10. We got up early today - 6:40 am but didn't get moving until noon or so and we went to the Durham Science Museum, then home for her nap by 3:30. We woke her from her nap at 6pm and she promptly fell back asleep on the couch.

Then Bruce fell asleep, then Mike and here I sit blogging.

For any of you still reading the minitue of our vacation events please make a comment will ya? I haven't heard from a soul since we left Florida over 2 weeks ago.

I know my vaca isn't as exciting to you as it is to me, but is anybody out there?