Stress can kill Part 2

My mother is better, they moved her to a step down room today. They aren't sure they are going to go forward with her heart surgery right away, she may be sent home to take care of a Dental Check first. I am trying not to get crazy about it. She had gotten sent home from a rehab center weeks ago after the car accident without getting the 3 days of intraveneous antibiotics as she was supposed to get. So when she was admitted Thursday she still had the infection in her blood. They sent her home without fixing her last time and they are going to do it again?!

We obviously haven't gone on our vacation as we had planned, good thing I didn't firm up the reservations I was considering. We may still go on Wednesday or Thursday for a couple of days.

And no I wasn't fired Friday, it was simply paperwork I needed to sign for a company wide pay downgrade. I did bring it to my boss' attention that his email was alarming. Not sure if that was the right thing to do or not...but that is how I handled it as I was pretty pissed. Yup everyone in my company got a pay decrease. 5-10% depending on your rate of pay. It sucks, but "It is what it is". At least I still have a job, and its a job I like alot and do well at. Newspapers throughout the country are floundering right now, I hope they survive this recession.

And Mike's car didn't need a transmission, just a few parts that they needed to lift the tranny out to install. So $1300+ later...maybe it's just as well we didn't go on a five day get away!


Back to the stress article...I just loved the tips...I am going to try to incorporate them more often, some I knew of, others I never thought of though I have used them most notably #1 -


"Turn up the tunes. Listening to music that has a steady (not frenetic) beat may cause brain waves to keep time and relax you, research from a music symposium at Stanford University in California reports. Load your iPod with a playlist of the songs that make you happiest."

Here are some of the other tips:

Phone a friend.
Break a sweat. (Exercising)
Use a better bulb.
Pamper yourself.
Dine by candlelight.
Snuggle with your sweetie.
Keep a journal.
Anticipate something awesome.
Give someone props.

Here is to all of us incorporating some of these things into our daily lifes to help us cope.

Stress can kill

OMIGOSH! yes, stress can kill...

I love this article on stress reducing tips. But first let me tell you...

Thursday while Jamie and I were stranded without a car because Mike's vehicle wouldn't go forward I got a call from my mom. She asked for a ride to the Dr. I told her we were stranded without a car, and she said ok, and hung up. I felt bad but just thought she had bronchitus as she often gets, as her voice sounded really rough.

Later on that day her friend called and said mom had been rushed to the hospital and they almost had to put her on Life support. It appears her heart valve gave out. We found out this valve was faulty last month when she got in the accident. It appears that it caused her to black out and hit that car. So we were on the right track to getting it replaced. We went to the heart dr. and had an appt with the heart surgeon coming up. It just didn't last as long as we had hoped I guess.

So she is in CCU (Critical Care) unable to talk above a whisper and on oxygen and a PIC line. I believe the diagnosis is Congenital Heart Failure and since she is in CCU the visiting hours are really odd. Half an hour every other hour. I have been visiting her several times daily and going back and forth to her apartment as well. Thank god she has caring neighbors who actually convinced mom that EMT needed to be called. (She just was asking for a ride to the dr). Also the nice neighbors are feeding the cat. I just need to go by there and scoop the poop every other day or so.

But I also need to do chores for my mom that she has been putting off such as calling about her ticket she got from the accident and following up about her mobile home and take care of her bills, and so on...

Anyway Friday when I was in the middle of all of this fun, I got a succinct email from my boss.

To: Marthavmuffin (not really!)
From: Martha's Boss

You need to see Big Boss before you leave today.

That's it.

What would you think@?@?@@!!!

To be cont.

We are stranded today

She does love her some frills. Ms Diana bought this dress for her at the thrift shop. Jamie adores it. (Note the capris underneath because it is super short!

One day at the park Jamie was going down the slide...

and then Mommy saw an eagle! We neglected to notice Jamie coming down the slide lickety split and her face went down in the dirt!

Sunset over the dunes on our way home from the grocery store one day. They will be building on those dunes soon, so we need to enjoy it while we can.

Well here are some pictures of when we have been able to go out and about. Mike's car wouldnt drive in forward motion this morning, so he has the van today and I stayed home with Jamie. He was able to get it to go forward in first gear and we got it to the auto repair shop. There was a pool of transmission fluid in the driveway. Oh boy, maybe we will need to skip the vacation. Looks like we will be paying for some car repairs. Hopefully not a complete transmission. I am waiting to hear.

We are off next week

Spring break and since Daddy has it off, Mommy took it off too. So should we stay or go? We are talking about going away for a day or two...but do we really want to travel? I am so lanquid lately. I just want to be home with my internet- blogging and gaming...but maybe with no work I could have the energy to play.

But Jamie is so smart. I got off the phone with my girlfriend that lives downstate and she asked "we going to see Diana?" and I told her maybe, so she said 'Trip Mommy? we going on a trip?" I can't put anything over on this girl any more. She remembers the last time we went to see Ms Diana we had to travel. (and we also saw the Princesses but she hasn't put that together yet) So we could stay home...I hope I feel more inspired on Saturday so we can prepare one way or another.

I am just glad spring is here.

Consignment Sale Proceeds & Progress with Jamie

Jamie is getting better in the mornings. We use the gate, we put it up after she is asleep and so when she wakes she has to call to me for me to get her from her room. I know it sounds like I am imprisoning my daughter, but there were too many times when she would leave her room when I was either downstairs or in the shower and it was just not good. She doesn’t cry anymore either, today she happily called to me. Now she says things like, “Have to be safe, right Mom?”. I just love this girl.

I was also able to dress her in pants 2 days in a row, but no jeans! Even jeans that are much too big just don’t cut it with her. She doesn’t like anything tight around her waist. One day last week I put her in a dress. The teacher said that I should put some bike shorts on her under her dress next time as she kept raising it up over her head all day and showing off her panties. So I have been looking for bike shorts, like Garanimals had last year. Well they don’t seem to have them this year, they changed them to ‘Gauchos’ that are much baggier, and won’t look as cute under dresses. So back to the thrift stores I go looking for Bike shorts! As long as the waist isn’t too tight Jamie is fine with them.

The consignment sale went very well. I took 200 pcs of clothing as well as a trike and two boxes of toys. I sold 142 items – I only had 65 pcs of clothing left, and made almost $250!

When I picked up my leftovers, the lady from the chosen charity was there. Foster Closet is a small organization in our town that just started up a couple of years ago, by a foster mom. I donated a couple of toys and a Boppy Pillow I had and talked with her for a bit. I am glad to see that this consignment sale picked such a good charity to get the leftovers. Many don’t wish to pick up their items so it works out well for everyone.

2nd Saturday

Saturday night after the Wizard of Oz festival (and naps all around),we went to something called the 2nd Saturday street festival. Have you heard of them before? It's a type of event that brings families together outside (usually in a neighborhood) to get to know each other and have some fun. It was over near the Five Points area which is an older neighborhood which is experiencing quite a revival lately. They had a lot to do along a city block in front of restaurants, shops and other small businesses.

They had a Fire Breather, a local band called Tropic of Cancer, and some snacks and soda and wine. We went in to one of the shops that was serving stuff and I got a small cup of wine. I suggested Mike get a soda. He refused, I suggested it again, and he refused again. Ten minutes later Jamie was after my cup of wine. I knew this would happen, why couldn’t he have just listened to my suggestion? I usually have an ulterior motive when I make a strong suggestion as this – wth do I have to spell everything out to him? Sometimes it feels like I have two kids! So Jamie got her first very own bottle of Cream soda. We don’t give her soda (or pop) so this was a real treat for her. She still had her face painted from the Wizard of Oz fest and so many people remarked on it and asked where the face painting was being done. I want to practice up on it so I can paint her myself sometimes as a treat. She loves it so much.

Jamie loved the fire dancer/breather and the musical trio Tropic of Cancer- kind of a Lounge type band with a saxophone/keyboards player, guitar and drummer. Jamie swayed and danced along and supped her soda like a big girl. She was so cute the people from Jacksonville Magazine came along and took our family’s photo. (they asked for our names, but not our email or phone number). I asked them to take our photo with our camera while they were at it (which is above). About a month ago the photographer from the Childrens Commission asked if he could photograph Jamie and had me give my email and permission for him to use her in promotional materials. She is quite the cutie who catches peoples eyes. I told Mike I doubt Jacksonville Magazine would be asking to take our photo if we didn’t have Jamie!

Jamie I don't think we are in Florida anymore!

We went to a Wizard of Oz festival on Saturday. Jamie loves Oz, we showed her the movie for the first time a month or so ago, and she can't get enough. I was worried it would be too scary for her, but she likes to be scared (for fun).

We got her face painted with flowers and a rainbow in honor of the occasion.

Also we listened to many renditions of 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'; 'If I Only had a Brain' and 'I am the King of the Jungle' by contestents that were mostly in middle school, but one as young as five. Jamie was mesmerized and tonight while watching Wizard of Oz again, she started singing. I think we have a natural born entertainer on our hands.

The gate worked!

Well the gate worked, this morning anyway. In fact if it wasn't for the gate, I would have been late for work as I slept in. I woke to Jamie calling that the gate was locking her in.

Now another blogger that I read Lisa, (aka GreedyGrace) gave me the tip about using the gate when we were trying to keep Jamie in her bed at night, but MIke didn't like the idea of using it as she screamed bloody murder if we put it up when she was still awake at night. But I convinced him that she would be all right, it would keep her safe.

She was a bit upset about it, but got over it quickly. More importantly she was safe. :-)

Morning Mischief and Meltdowns

I had it so easy when Jamie was younger. Oh the good old days of getting ready before she woke up! Yes to luxurate in the shower, pack the cooler and her breakfast, pour my coffee, dry my hair and do my make up, then wake her up and bring her in to our room to get dressed...

Now it is quite another story. She has been waking up with Mike at 6am or so and wanting to watch the Disney Channel. But that migrated into pretending to watch the Disney Channel until I get into the shower or go down to pack the food. Then it is on to get into stuff...Drink and spill the Robutussen, (I know I shouldn't have left it out!) Smear the Diaper ointment all over her body, get all the blankets out and lay them all over the floor and then today was a doozy.

I thought she would sleep in again as she did yesterday because of the time change. So I was up quite early packing our food coolers and getting my coffee (downstairs) I didn't hear a thing and wasn't aware I should be hurrying. When I came upstairs she was sitting at my vanity with my makeup all over and smeared all over her face, neck and arms. Then during Timeout she screamed and cried like a loon. Then after cleaning her face, while trying to dress her she kicked the crapola out of me.

Well I lost it and spanked her. On the bare butt. This is the third bare butt spanking she has gotten from me in her life, and all three times have been during these lovely morning encounters during the last couple of weeks.

She cried and screamed the rest of the time getting her ready. Of course I was in a hurry, I had a presentation to make at an office across town at 9am. I couldn't diddle around...On teh way to daycare we were both quiet for the first time since the make up moment. I turned back at her with a sad face, my lip quivering a bit...she said "Mommy you make me feel sad". Oh man, way to push my guilt button!

Now I had already gotten a couple of books on emotions at the library last Saturday most notably Jamie Lee Curtis' book, 'Today I Feel Silly, and Other Moods That Make My Day' and Dr. Seuss' 'My Many Colored Days‎'.

Both books made an impression today when we read them back to back before bed. Then we talked a little about anger and how it was so much better when we didn't get mad at each other in the morning.

I think I may try the baby gate...We will put it up tonight before bed to keep her safe. Both from household dangers and Mommy's anger.

What worked for you? this is just a stage right? This too shall pass!? Tell me it will pass!

Tangled up kitty

I’m sitting here at my mom’s apartment hoping her cat comes out to me at about 10 at night. I have an open dish of wet cat food at my feet, mmmm smells so good. (not!) I got a call today that the cat had gotten her paw caught in her collar and that they couldn’t get close to the cat to get it undone. And yes it is stuck around her paw and neck at the same time. I can’t get close to her either.

My mom is doing better by the way. She was moved to a rehab center yesterday, it looks like they need to clear this infection up in her bloodstream and then they can look into repairing a heart valve. The faulty valve is why she passed out apparently and had the car accident. This repair to her heart valve should allow her to be more mobile and feel better about life and in general. I hope so. I remember when she had the knee replacement surgery about 5 years ago, that was supposed to give her new life and it didn’t help. But let’s think positive, my mom is and so shall I. I hope this will help her have some happier and healthier years. She sure isn’t going to enjoy riding busses the rest of her life. Dang…Either would I.

Back to the cat and the apartment. The neighbor who is feeding mom’s cat was kind enough to call me today and let me know about the cat. So here I sit. When I first booted up my laptop there was a wireless internet connection available – unsecured!! I was so excited, but it didn’t pan out. So I am blogging to word to be cut and pasted back to the blog when I get back to internet. How did we survive without the internet? Why isn’t every place WiFi? It should be and it will very soon. Even the ER the other night had WiFi. But not old people apartment complexes as of yet. I envision speeding down the highway and everywhere being Wifi. I think Portland Oregon is completely Wifi. My main account at work- a large real estate chain, has Wifi at all of their offices, and it is so good you can use it in their parking lots. And of course libraries are Wifi, even McDonalds and Krystals are Wifi now. What is the coolest strangest Wifi location you have ever been in or used?

So I am not sure how long I should sit here. The cat isn’t in danger, she may be a bit uncomfortable at the most. Dang cat bit the crap out of me once when mom stayed with us for a few days. Mom couldn’t get her into her carrier and Mike and I tried. A puncture wound in my hand is what I got for my trouble. My mom had to delay her travel plans back to Tampa for about 8 hours to wait for Kiwi to come out. This cat doesn’t let others mess with her. So here I sit.

My battery is about to wear out – My warranty ended on this laptop 2 months ago of course, and now I need to replace the battery. ALWAYS BUY THE WARRANTY WHEN YOU BUY A LAPTOP! I will give this advice freely. Advice about love and family not given so freely. One friend who shall remain nameless recently told me she got married because of something I said. OMIGOSH! I am not giving that type of advice out if I can help it. I don’t want to be the cause of someone making that kind of decision.

Speaking of decisions, my mom (who never asks for my advice) is now talking about wanting to move to another retirement/subsidized community. The other one is only 2 miles from here but they have a van that shuttles the people around for free. Living here, Mom would have to pay for the Community Bus service for the elderly and disabled that is available. I found out today it offers rides anywhere they need to go from 5am to 11pm every day and trips are as low as $1 each way. Dang, that’s a pretty wide window of time and the rates are reasonable as well. We just may have to look into it for her return to home from our house in the evenings she comes for visits. She had told me she didn’t think they would take her personal places, just Dr visits or church but I clarified that issue. I wonder if maybe she is trying to keep me out of the know. I do know that there is no way she can afford to move even if it is two miles away. But that is really none of my business I guess.

Crash Landing

My mom blacked out and hit a parked car the other day. She is still in the hospital but she is ok. They are running lots of tests to see why she lost consciousness. The car isn't all right. It was declared totalled by the junk yard and she didn't have collision insurance, so bye bye car. It will probably be her last car too. It's sad for her. I know she is grieving the loss of her independence. I am grieving it too. My dad was kind enough to pay for this car. I don't relish telling him what happened. They have been divorced for over 30 years, I was shocked when he offered to buy her a used car to help out last summer. It was all for naught. Or maybe not...this way she came into car-lessness gradually... or something. I just know it will be harder now for her and for us. Now we will have to pick her up to come over. And take her home late at night. Thank God I have Mike as I don't drive well at night since the laser surgery. *sigh* Getting old sucks...

Anyway I took Jamie to see her on Saturday, and Jamie enjoyed the visit. She had never been to the 'hopsipal' before. And mom enjoyed having her grandbaby there too. She should be out by Tuesday or Wednesday. Thus far the tests have been negative. They tested her heart and her brain. We shall see. Hopefully she will be ok.

125 things by five

A good friend of mine (and follower now!) Cinda who also has a 3 year old - Ander, had this on her blog and I had to borrow it. I just love it, and the idea of keeping track and trying to widen her horizons in the next 2 years. Thanks Cinda, maybe we can do some of these things together with our kids.


1. Sit back and listen at a library storytime
2. Go to the zoo
3. Visit a farm
4. Go on a hike
5. Play with kittens or puppies
6. Make a snow-man
7. Blow bubbles
8. Plant seeds and watch them grow
9. Have a pillow fight
10. Jump on a big bed
11. Jump on a trampoline or in a bounce house
12. Hang out in a tent
13. Spend days at the beach
14. Build sandcastles
15. Play with blocks and puzzles
16. Read the classic picture books
17. Read a classic chapter book
18. Check out library books with their own library card
19. Get a passport
20. Carve a pumpkin
21. Love a special doll or stuffed animal
22. Bake cookies and cakes
23. Help plan their own birthday party
24. Go to the circus
25. Go to a museum on a quiet weekday
26. Play hide-and-seek
27. Play a board game
28. Try a sport
29. Learn to swim
30. Be tickled in hysterics
31. Paint and draw as much as desired
32. Have the use of scissors and glue
33. Display artworks and other creations around the house
34. Learn to use a camera (and keep an album of the results!)
35. Pick flowers
36. Climb a tree
37. Gaze at the moon and stars
38. Toast marshmallows
39. Learn to eat an ice-cream cone
40. Watch a sunset
41. Learn to write their own names
42. Learn their addresses and telephone numbers
43. Learn their parents' full names
44. Set the table
45. Clear the table
46. Learn to say their pleases and thank yous and excuse mes
47. Watch fireworks
48. Go to the ballet or theater or a puppet show
49. Face paint
50. Dress up in costumes at will
51. Learn rhymes and poems and songs by heart
52. Invite friends over to play
53. Get to know grandparents
54. Play with cousins
55. Learn the name of our president
56. Know the name of their town, state and country
57. Listen to music from many different ages and genres
58. Learn the difference between trash and recycling
59. Grow their own vegetables
60. Learn to ride a bike (or try!)
61. Take a road trip
62. Draw a self-portrait
63. Slurp alphabet soup
64. Learn to twirl spaghetti on a fork
65. Pick apples
66. Practice writing letters
67. Practice counting to 100
68. Make up stories
69. Send a letter
70. Receive a letter
71. Ride on a merry-go-round
72. Give away toys and books to less fortunate children
73. Learn the value of coins and bills
74. Keep a piggy bank
75. Try a musical instrument
76. Swing high up into the sky all by themselves
77. Ride on a roller coaster
78. Pick Strawberries
79. Go to an Aquarium
80. Pick Blueberries
81. Go to an Amusement Park
82. Camp
83. Splash in a Puddle
84. Play in the Sprinklers
85. See a manatee
86. Bake cookies for your neighbors
87. Play Putt-Putt Golf
88. Go Bowling
89. Fly a kite
90. Help make pancakes
91. Go to a science museum
92. Go on a water slide
93. Have a "paint your own pottery" afternoon.
94. Throw a Ball
95. Kick a Ball96. Hit a Ball
97. Fold a paper airplane
98. Jump in leaf piles
99. Build a fort out of blankets
100. Find the US on a map
101. Find home state on a map
102. Recognize 5 types of bugs
103. Recognize 3 types of flowers
104. Name the 4 seasons
105. Explore the properties of water
106. Look through a microscope or magnifying glass
107. Hear the ocean in a shell
108. Button buttons
109. Zip zippers
110. Snap snaps
111. Ties shoes
112. Open a milk carton, juice box, and snacks
113. Make a PB & J sandwich
114. Go on a treasure hunt
115. Pour a bowl of cereal
116. Read 10 words independently- start a, and, the, it, I, we, at, by, me, is
117. Copy text that is written for them
118. Write/dictate, illustrate, and publish a story at restaurant?)
119. Be able to say a few words in a foreign language
120. Name the 12 months in a year
121. Name the seven days of the week in order
122. Learn birthdate
123. Say "Nice to meet you."
124. Shake hands
125. Know where to put a stamp on a letter

Will you be my follower?

I am a little slow in the blogging community. I have been a follower for many weeks, but didn't realize I had to put the tab on my blog to show my followers. All 2 of you that is!

Do me a favor, even if you don't comment could you follow me? Two looks pretty pathetic over there, but I do thank you Patty and SD! At least I have a couple of followers.

Weekend fun

Mike and Jamie on their way out on Saturday morning to the library together.


$3 Rose bush from Big Lots that Jamie and I planted this weekend. Pink Hybrid 'Baronne Prevost' Hope it smells and blooms as grand as it's name!


Jamie got a new Necklace for Valentines Day from Grandma Judy


Her new dress with leggings from Grandma Fifi (in her store from Aunt Cinda and Uncle Craig

I just love this shot - she reminds me of Shirley Temple in the Good Ship Lollypop!

I was still not feeling great so Mike took Jamie on Saturday morning while I stayed home and rested. I guess I will have to go back to the Dr. soon if things don't change quickly. I can feel it in my chest again. Darn it.

But we still managed to get in a bit of fun and togetherness. Jamie loved helping me plant the rosebush, hope I can keep it alive for great memories as we cut roses for our table together.

You are not my friend!

This is Jamie's retort to me recently whenever I am asking something of her she doesn't want to do. I have to admit it did hurt my feelings a bit the first time. But now I answer in a matter of fact tone, that's right, I am your mommy.

She isn't sure what to make of that retort.

Winter Blues

It seems alot of the bloggers I read are talking about the 'D' word. What is the 'D' word you may ask? Depression. I am home sick today and have thought about it as there is something about inaction that reminds me of Depression. I used to suffer from Depression almost every winter, but since moving to Florids haven't had problems so much. But being sick and having a messy house and a stressful job seems to pull me towards that 'D' word. I think I am feeling better and will be going back to work tomrrow. Activity always helps.

I can't wait for spring.

Valentines Contest

One of my favorite blogs I read features Lisa and her family who are trying to adopt a son from foster care - Just Lisa No Filler. Lisa is having a great Valentines themed contest. Pop over there and check her blog out and enter her contest, she is giving away a movie, some jewelry, a game and other goodies.

While you are there read about her heartbreaking story of their family trying to adopt Baby Adam from foster care. And pray for her family.

Valentines Day Redux

We didn't celebrate Valentine's Day as a couple on the actual day but we did have our first date in almost 3 years or SD- Since Jamie. We went to see an off broadway play - Oliver! courtesy of my workplace. I gave a few away to customers, but they weren't seated in the same section as we were so were were on our own. It was great except for the meltdown when we left. Even Jamie cried. :-) The play was great though, it was a favorite movie of mine when I was a kid. I remember riding my bike up to the Penn theatre to see it repeatedely.
I think I had a bit of a crush on Mark Lester. Wasnt he cute?:


Anyway our big celebrating was in getting Jamie ready for her class party. I made lucious cupcakes with pink and purple frosting, and we had Valentines Treat bags with Cute stickers of a puppy and a kitten. I put one box of Nerds, a Superball and one plastic animal in each of the bags and let Jamie decorate the bags. I was so excited to see her Valentines when she got home...I asked Mike "Well where are her Valentines?" He said he didn't know. They didn't give him anything. HUH?! Did I maybe go over the top? Maybe none of the other kids did anything? But the teacher sent home a list of names?

Anyway on the day itself, I took Jamie to the Library and let her wear her Minnie Mouse Ballerina dress which she adores but it is too small for her...The tights were so tight she ended up putting big holes in them. See the one hole on her leg? Why don't they make the tights for kids better? I know these were too small but she tears up every pair she wears now. And of course now she prefers them. *SIGH* Anyway here are a few recent photos of Jamie.
Miss Diana gave her a Tinkerbell Fairy outfit and a Tinkerbell Doll for her Birthday.

Daddy and Jamie

Diana's grandson Alex and Jamie in the bath

Tinkerbell outfit from Grandma Fifi

Her store she got from Aunt Cinda and Uncle Craig

Choose your Battles

I heard Joel Osteen this morning and he had a very interesting sermon on Choosing your Battles. He gave examples of Road rage, like just because someone cuts you off in traffic doesn't mean you have to engage in a battle over it. There isn't a payoff to getting involved. Or at work if someone doesn't like you or treats you badly its best to just 'Let it Go' Not all people will like us and we need to just get over it.

He also mentioned that often there is something about our spouse that we are not happy with and may constantly try to change. Like if your spouse always leaves the lights on and you are constanly harping on it, that maybe you need to just let it go...Ten dollars a month worth of electricity is worth having peace in your home. Most of us would like about 20% of our spouse to be different and the grass can often look greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs to be mowed! No one person can be everything to another person.

Whew! Lots of lessons that I need to work on, in that little 20 minute sermon I listened to this morning! Some of them deal with marriage or coworker/boss relations, but what I really got to thinking about was the Choose the Battles thing with Jamie.

The thing about 'Choosing your battles' with kids is it's often easier to just give in to their desires. Like with clothes. Jamie would prefer to be in dresses and skirts every day. She plays pretty rough on the playground, she often comes home with her knees and bum blackened from rolling around on the playground, so I really prefer to send her in pants and a top. To keep her somewhat appeased I have been putting a skirt on over her stretch pants - so the poor kid looks like a little Madonna! But it avoids a battle every morning.

On the other hand I don't want to raise a brat who thinks it's her way or the highway. And I love to shop at the thrift and consignment shops so I can just go in search of some dresses. (Love that rationalization!) Last week I brought home 3 jumper type dresses:



(Pictured) One of them was a black with red Scotty dogs cordoroy dress with a red top, and I had her try it on. What a meltdown!! I thought this dress was the cutest thing but she will not wear it! Oh and today I tried to put on some Elmo and Zoey Overalls and she said 'THAT is not Cool...That is not a dress'. Sheesh, she loved those overalls last month! She just loves wearing girly girl dresses, here are some shots of her fashioning dresses she does like to wear, none of which are really appropriate for her to wear to school.(Top photo)

At lunch I found a little bottle of chocolate milk from one of those happy meals in the frig. Well I was mixing it with milk as I dont want her drinking straight chocolate milk if I can help it, and she threw a fit. I mean a screaming, yelling,tearful tantrum! She wants what she wants - when she wants it. She got a Time out for her trouble. I know, I am a mean mom I am sure I will be hearing that soon enough. I am already hearing - "You are not my friend", which must be the preschool battle cry at her school.

But in good battle news, Mike has found the magic routine/threat at bedtimes of telling her we will be taking her stuff and then staying firm with it when she acts up and gets up. Just now at nap I told her if she got up again I was going to take her Barbie. And she got up again, so Mike took her Barbie. He told her he would bring it back if she stayed quiet and then didn't do it right away. He said to me "I just broke a promise to her..." I said take it up to her now! So he did. She will see Barbie there when she wakes up and remember. I think it's good that we are showing her consequences of her actions. We just need to be careful of threatening something that we aren't going to follow through with...

What kind of battles do you have with your kids? Is age three a common age to be standing up for what they want so fervently?

Or if you don't have kids can you see how 'Letting it Go could be helpful for Marital Harmony? What kind of techniques have you used to Let go of something that is bothering you about your spouse or anyone else for that matter?

Bedtime Battles

Well it's been a long couple of weeks of Bedtime Battles. First of all some background- Jamie has been sleeping throught the night from 7-7am from age 8 mos until about a year ago when we changed her bedtime to 8pm. She would rarely wake up and if she did would be easily comforted and go right back to sleep.

Every night since Jamie learned how to open her bedroom door she has been getting up repeatedly with lame excuses about needing to go potty (10 minutues after she just went)or that her diaper was wet etc. Mike was spending every night up in the hall by her door grading papers and putting her back in bed. Some nights she would still be up at 11 and she goes to bed at 8!

Well i have to give Mike the credit for this parenting triumph. One person (thanks Grace) suggested we try a gate, but Mike was too softhearted as Jamie had hysterical fits of tears and screams about it being up. What finally worked is taking her stuff away.

My daughter likes to go to bed with lots of stuff. Right now its a Tinkerbell doll, a superball (also Tinkerbell) a stuffed Siamese Kitten, Waddie, Yaddie, Toddie, and at least one book. She also has a Princess Comforter I recently scored at a thrift store for $6 that has huge pictures of the main 3 princesses on it - and she adores that thing!

Anyway this is what Mike did earlier in the week...When she got up the first time he went in there and put her back and said, if you get up again I am taking the Princess comforter, Tinkerbell and Waddie. Then when she got up again 10 minutes later he did take those things. She cried for a few moments and settled down. After a few moments he brought back her things and told her he would take them and keep them all night.

She got up twice last night and the night before. Tonight she only got up once, so she never even lost her stuff! Score! I am so proud of my husbands patience and my daughters intelligence. I pray the bedtime battles are over.